…you don’t need to hide

Today, I felt impressed to share something very personal.  Being on the stage of our church frequently as a young adult I was given a lot of “advice” about how to dress appropriately.  Even when I followed the rules I was criticized because I still looked different than most other women.  So, because I didn’t want to offend anyone I found myself buying very unflattering clothing that wasn’t budgeted to appease well meaning onlookers.  I also found out that once I started down that road it led to feeling that I was a problem - as if God had created me inappropriately.

For the last 8 years or so I’ve been mostly out of the spotlight.  During that time I’ve gone through the figure ups and downs of my post pregnancy body and have replaced my entire wardrobe.  With the pressure off and only my husband to please my choices have been much, much more flattering to my figure.  I sometimes experience nasty looks from strangers, snubs from acquaintances, and distance between friends for it, but I think some of this is due to some misconceptions that I would like to attempt to right.  I hope this illustration I created will at least start the conversations and thought processes necessary to get there and, perhaps, help to heal others who have been unjustly labeled.

(If you’re having a hard time reading the text, try clicking on the photo to get a separate window you can adjust the size of)

…your destination does not travel to you

It’s my 34th birthday, and today I came across this TED Talk that is close to my heart.

http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html

This year, my husband and I will celebrate our 15th anniversary, so those of you quick with math have already figured out that I was just 19 when I married. I also have two children, ages 9 & 7. You could say my twenties were eventful. Having experienced working with teens most of those 15 years I do not recommend this exact timeline for most people, but despite some major challenges it has been an amazing and wonderful ride for us.

With as much as we’ve accomplished already, I also know that life has a lot of adventures left in store including travel and possible ministry and career paths. God’s not done writing our stories no matter how old we become.  So, as you watch the video, please keep in mind that it’s not important that you have all your big events and decisions checked off your list in your twenties. What is important is that you are taking the steps she recommends for moving toward your future. Life’s journey can not magically transport you to your future with all your hopes and dreams acquired if you treat now like one long, pointless pit stop.

…about real spiritual leadership

A friend recently asked me what I thought spiritual leadership looks like in a husband.  Her question isn’t rare, and it might seem like a difficult one, but I’ve learned that it’s really very simple. 

…to give is better than to receive

Ok, so maybe they did tell me this one - it’s just taken me this long notice that it applies to the marriage relationship, too.  I guess I had always thought about it in terms of Christmas presents and charitable efforts.  However, it’s gained new meaning to me as I’ve reflected on the last 14 years with my husband.

…the most challenging project you will ever manage is…

yourself.  Your time.  Your temper.  Your attitude…

Right now my project is time management.  I recently took my husband up on a request for a timeline of how much everything I needed to do each week actually took to complete.  I knew I wasn’t getting everything done and was often overwhelmed, but I assumed

…sometimes the best marriage advice can come from a single person

This video is done by a young man, but his wisdom is ageless!! Well worth the four minutes it will take to watch this:

credit: Justin Taylor
http://www.thegospelcoalition.org

…he really doesn’t know you

I remember the struggle I had early in marriage because I believed that my husband should understand me.  I was a little disappointed to find that he was not so different from other men, and we were not so in sync with each other that