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…to give is better than to receive

August 15, 2012

Ok, so maybe they did tell me this one – it’s just taken me this long notice that it applies to the marriage relationship, too.  I guess I had always thought about it in terms of Christmas presents and charitable efforts.  However, it’s gained new meaning to me as I’ve reflected on the last 14 years with my husband.

Dave’s been working crazy hours lately, so the anniversary celebratory planning has been left mostly to me.  The funny thing is, the ideas I’ve come up with that appeal the most to me are ones that I normally wouldn’t be drawn to for my own or even our mutual enjoyment.  Instead, I find myself excited by thoughts of how happy he’d be if I could do the things he particularly enjoys and would appreciate (even ones I’m not so fond of).  As much as I try to think of things I enjoy I can’t think of anything that would make me happier than accomplishing this.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t welcome his expressions of love, too (if you’re reading this, Dave, please feel free to bring me flowers ;)), but no gift or activity I picture sounds nearly as enticing as making him feel deeply, truly loved.

While picturing this I had an unexpected thought:  Of all the things Dave has tried to do for me over the years to show me that he loves me (including the things I told him should work), none of them comes close to the fulfillment and the love I feel from him when I’ve been successful in making him feel loved.  So, now instead of thinking only of things he can do for me when I’m feeling a little detached or neglected I think I’ll try finding ways to make him happy.

It sounds so backwards, but, still, I really should have known better.  After all… they did tell me. 🙂

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